How Do You Love Those Who Have Hurt You?

I have often heard it said that the ones that you love are the ones that hurt you the most. I couldn’t agree with that more. So many times in my life, just like many of you, I have been hurt tremendously by the someone that I cared deeply for. It’s an awful feeling when you give so much of your heart to someone and then they knowingly or unknowingly do something that shatters it into pieces.

As believers we know that it’s not okay to hold a grudge or bitterness against someone. Somehow though we tend to justify it because of the extent of the hurt that they caused. The pain is real. The wounds that are inflicted upon us usually stay open when we don’t allow our hearts to truly forgive and move past these hurtful incidents.

Scripture instructs us that if we come before the Lord with an offering but have a grudge in our hearts towards a loved one, we are to go reconcile that relationship before we give that offering. I’m not going to lie that’s a tough one for me. I believe one of the hardest things for me is knowing that a large portion of this restoration process falls on me. I bring it before the Lord and He tells me to go take care of it. He is calling us to act when someone else hurts us.

We all have those few (or many) people in our lives that we have had to move on from but still feel the sting of what they did to us. I have people in my life that I have resentment or bitterness towards. I feel like I am constantly trying to navigate how to love them amidst of all the hurt and pain that they caused. Often when I feel like i have been freed it comes rising to the surface again. Sometimes I feel like it’s a never ending cycle.

So, I pose this question to you. How have you loved the ones that have truly hurt you? What are some things that you have done to forgive those people and restore your affection and honor towards them? When you have found it extremely hard to love someone, how have you done it anyway. I would love to hear your feedback and ways that you have handled hurtful situations from others in your life. Feel free to comment below:)

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  1. The best loving thing you can do for an unrepentant sinner is graciously inform them that their words or actions hurt you unnecessarily and if they refuse to repent you will no longer interact with them.
    Repent means to admit what you did, admit ti was wrong, apologize for it, ask for forgiveness and stop being offensive. Just because we are Christians does not mean we are to allow others to abuse us.
    If they repent then many times it will mean good Christian counseling. This may last for years.


  2. I agree. Finding that balance between forgiving others and letting them step on you is a tricky tension to navigate! If I am ever out of balance though I would always rather err on the side of freedom and liberty in forgiving someone too much rather than holding a grudge and being trapped in those feelings of hurt and resentment! I love your response!


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