I Don’t Have it All Figured Out…And I’m Okay With That

When I was called into full time ministry at 23 I thought I had finally arrived at the place that I wanted to be. I had felt the calling since I was 14 to be in youth ministry and there I was, accepting a position as a full time youth pastor. I thought it was all going to be smooth sailing from there. I thought my platform was going to grow and I was going to keep progressing until I was preaching in stadiums across the country. I’m a big dreamer. But man was I wrong.

Over the last 6 years everything that I envisioned for myself has fell absolutely flat. Nothing has gone the the way that I had hoped. A lot of it has been from my own doing and some not so much, but here I am still trying to hear from the Lord on what it all looks like for me. At 30 years old I am working a full time job (a secular job as most pastors would say) and just attending/serving in the local church. And I absolutely love it.

I think we always put so much pressure on ourselves to have the next steps figured out. Social Media has also increased that pressure because it makes us feel like if we are simply resting and waiting then we are actually falling behind. I hate this so much in society today. If we feel like we always have to keep up with what everyone else is doing, we’re going to burn out and lose our effectiveness in the small details we should really be intentional about focusing on.

You see I have somewhat of a plan. I have things the Lord is laying on my heart to pursue right now. What it all looks like I really don’t know. But the truth is in 5 years those things may look so much different than they do now. That’s the way that it has been and the way it will always be. Our lives are full of seasons that change. Many of them bring us heartbreak while others bring us restoration and joy. It’s okay to have seasons where you wait and you find yourself saying, “I just don’t know,” a majority of the time. IT’S OKAY.

We all have to get to a place at some point where we are more faithful in the waiting than we are faithful in the serving or doing. This is where transformation happens. This is where your learn to hear God’s voice (John 10:27-28). Don’t feel so much pressure to be on the move or to make big things happen for yourself. That’s a burden we weren’t meant to carry.

The more you wait and listen, the more the Lord will equip to do what He is asking of you. Many of us are lacking that equipping because we feel we always have to be progressing. We don’t like sitting still. It’s the “American Dream” that has been instilled inside of all of us.

I don’t have everything for my life figured out and frankly I never will. And I’m completely okay with that. Here’s an honest assessment; everyone you see on Social Media doesn’t either. They don’t show you the struggle or insecurity. All you see is your failures and their successes and that’s what you constantly compare. That will set even the best of us up for failure.

Learn to rest and be patient where you are. You aren’t behind and you aren’t lacking. You are exactly where you need to be.


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